Toddler Hitting

image001Is your child prone to use violence for showing his anger? Is he found fighting with other children? Is he not afraid to hit you? All of these are not abnormal. Most children display such behavior in their childhood since they are unable to communicate properly and can’t handle frustration. Young children only know to use their hands and be physical when facing a tough situation since they don’t know any other response method. This post will focus on tips that can help parents in containing their children’s aggressive and violent behavior.

Why Are Toddlers Hiting Each Other?

It might come as a surprise to you but physical aggression is not that uncommon in young children. In fact, it marks a phase in a child’s growth. Since the child is desperately trying to gain independency and his communication skills have not yet developed, he can become agitated and infuriated easily. In addition to this, the child’s lack of impulse control makes him violent and aggressive. There are other reasons that can explain why toddlers hit:



Developing skills

One reason for a child’s aggressive behavior is his inability to tackle their emotions. He might have started talking and walking, but his ability to cope with emotions such as hunger and frustration is still in the developmental stage. Thus, the only way for a child to demand the attention of his parents or vent out his frustration is to hit someone or throw things.


Curiosity is one of the reasons why a child might start throwing and hitting things. At this age, the child is trying to figure out the world around him and feels that he can understand it better by throwing things or hitting them and watching the results of his actions.

Get control

Children in their early years are trying to gain control over the things that are in their vicinity. Hitting and throwing provides the child this control that he is looking for. It might give him pleasure, too.

How to Deal With Toddler Hitting?



Explain the consequences of hitting

If your child has started throwing objects at the children he is playing with, take him away from the other children and sit down with him. Tell him that he would only be able to get back if he does not hit other children.

Remain calm

Don’t start yelling or screaming at your child as it will only make him angrier. When the child is showing aggression, it is best to remain calm and show him how to control anger. This would help him in learning how to get self-control.

Act immediately

Immediate action is necessary, don’t wait up and tell the child to stop his physical aggression when he commits the same mistake for the third time. Immediately remove the child from the scene and tell him that he will only go back if he restrains himself.

Keep on teaching disciplines

Disciplining the child every time he hits someone is important even if he is in public. Take him away from the scene and tell him that he will not be allowed to go back unless he behaves. Try and discipline your child in the same way as you did before.

Teach him other ways to vent frustration

Teaching the child to find other ways of showing his anger is also important. Ask him to apologize for his physical behavior so that he understands hitting someone is not good and he should say sorry if he hurts someone.

Give him attention

Start paying attention to the child and praise him whenever he does a good thing. This would show the child that his good behavior is rewarded by you. He would start controlling his emotions and doing good things to get your attention instead of hitting others.

Limit exposure to TV

Start monitoring what your child watches on TV. Since the children are in their learning phase, they pick up things even from the cartoons they are watching on TV which may have scenes of shouting and shoving. Limiting their exposure to TV can help in restraining their aggressive behavior.

Take him outdoors

Some children have an aggressive behavior and they need some time in the open to exhaust their extra energy. Taking the child out and letting him cool off is a good way of stopping the child from hitting anyone at home.

Get the help of a psychiatrist

If your efforts of controlling your child’s aggressive behavior go to waste, don’t be afraid to ask help from a physiatrist or a child counselor. He can help in finding out the reason why the child is so violent and aggressive. He can also help in eliminating the reason which is the source of his anger.

How to Prevent Toddler Hitting

You can prevent your child from developing a hitting habit by taking preemptive measures when he is still in his pre-verbal phase. Try to teach him that voicing out his feelings or concerns is better than hitting others. Get him to touch things tenderly and make him realize that people are for talking and hugging and not hitting. You can also teach the child to find his own timeout spot as well where he can spend time if he feels angry. Don’t hit your child even when he misbehaves; instead, give him love as well as respect and try to find ways through which you can give him the control and independence he craves.

Want to get a vivid picture of how to stop toddler hitting? Watch the video below:

More Tips on Teaching Aggressive Toddlers to Behave well

1. Tell Toddler Hitting Is Wrong

You can stop a child from being physical with you or other children by telling him that hitting is not a good habit and he should find other ways to vent out his frustrations by hitting a pillow.

2. Give Toddlers a Hug

You can hug him if he hits someone before taking him away from the scene to show that hitting is inappropriate.

3. Teach Toddlers to Apologize

If the child hits you, put him down and tell him that you won’t pick him up or spend time with him until he apologizes or stops hitting you.

4. Teach Toddlers What They Can Do

Never tell the child what he cannot do; instead, teach him what he can do. This would help him in learning the right way to deal with his emotions.