Today there is an appearance of competition between mothers, which can make some feel as though they are a bad parent. All parents want to do the best for their children, but constantly competing with other parents does not make this easier. The question "What makes a good mother?" become more and more concerned. In fact, being a good mother can be very simple if you take the time to focus on the basics. Below are some common traits of a good mom. Hope you can learn something from those tips so that you have better parenting skills.
What Makes a Good Mother?
1. Be Supportive
Help your child follow their dreams and provide plenty of encouragement. This starts with understanding that your child may think differently than you and allowing them to make their own decisions. You already make a lot of decisions for your child such as what they eat and where they go to school, so it is healthy for them to find ways to express themselves such as listening to music they like, deciding the course for their future or picking out what to wear.
2. Be Patient
There are times when being a mother is challenging, but it is important to try to stay patient. Staying calm and explaining your position, telling your child why you do not want them to do something can be much more effective than losing your temper.
3. Know Your Children’s Interests
Learning what your child is interested in will help you be more supportive. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and be encouraging as long as you are not being pushy. Watch to see if they get angry when you get involved and back off if it sounds like your efforts to be supportive are being taken the wrong way. Sometimes it is best to let your child come to you when they have a problem rather than trying to force them to tell you why they are upset.
4. Set Rules
If you do not set limits and rules when your child is young it will limit their ability to determine what to do when you aren’t around. You should always be able to know where your child is, who they are with and what they are doing to ensure that the rules you have applied will continue to be enforced. Do not try to micromanage, instead encouraging your child to govern themselves and establish rules for themselves.
5. Be Consistent
If you only enforce the rules every so often or are constantly changing the guidelines you set this can be confusing. Therefore if your child misbehaves you only have yourself to blame. Work to create consistency in your routine and set non-negotiable standards that your child can understand. If your child understands where your requests are coming from it will make them less likely to challenge you and easier for them to stay in line.
6. Respect Your Baby
The best way to earn respect is to show respect. Give your child the same level of respect you would give to anyone else. Speak politely and honor their opinions, treating them kindly and paying attention when they talk. Try not to turn situations into a constant battle. For example, if your child is a picky eater do not come to the table waiting for a fight to begin. Instead, remove items like junk food from the house and try to encourage them to eat the same foods you are eating.
7. Don’t Be Afraid to Apologize
It can be hard to admit you have made a mistake, but getting mad and defensive rather than apologizing sets a bad example for your child. They need to learn that it is okay to make mistakes and important to apologize when this happens. Try to stay calm and explain to your child what you did wrong and why and then apologize for what happened. This will open a transition for the rest of the conversation.
8. Don’t Try to Be Perfect
Striving for perfection will make it hard to deal with the inevitable unpredictability of life. Trying to stay in complete control of your child can also be smothering. Instead of trying to be perfect it is important to learn to cope with whatever life brings. Accept that sometimes your house will be messy and you will not have time to cook. Taking some time to regroup and get things under control does not make you a bad mother.
9. Listen to Your Children
It can be easy to assume you know more than your children which can result in poor listening. In many cases children will come to you with problems and we immediately want to offer solutions, but sometimes it is best to just sit back and listen. This offers your child support and lets them know you are trying to understand.
10. Cultivate Independence in Your Children
Constantly offering your child assistance takes away their ability to learn to do things on their own. Encouraging your child to act for themselves is much more helpful than simply doing a task for them. Offer guidance and constantly push your children to see what they can do. When your child performs a task successfully it will give them a sense of accomplishment that will encourage further independence.
11. Guide Rather than Punish
Children aim to please those around them, so offering constant discipline and criticism can be very difficult for children emotionally. Leading though a loving example, focusing on redirecting behavior rather than punishment, can help you create limits while still offering empathy. This will help you raise children that want to behave rather than those that are constantly testing your limits.
Finally: Do Not Indulge
It is impossible to spoil a child by loving them too much. The problem arises when you associate loving a child with showing them that love by giving your child things instead of attention. Focusing on giving your child material possessions, lowering expectations or being excessively lenient can be damaging for a child rather than truly loving.
Watch the following video to learn expert advices on what makes a good mother: