One of the most difficult tasks is to raise a child. Because of the rapid transitions in the growth phases, any carelessness or irresponsibility on part of parents can harm the growing baby physicallyand emotionally. It is arduous and challenging enough with a partner by your side but when you are doing it all by yourself, it’s certainly understandable how the hardships multiply along the way. Today, almost 10 million single moms are managing their roles of single parenting with kids under 18 years of age. If you are raising your children as a single parent, you can still take measures to ensure optimal development and excellent upbringing. The tips below can help in easing out all the rough edges of your voyage.
Tips on Surviving as a Single Mom
1. Ask for Help in Child Care
There’s no need to burden your shoulders with everything. Do not hesitate in seeking assistance when you feel like having a break. The following are the practical approaches.
- Figure out who can look after your kid while you are out.
- If this isn’t possible, give professional babysitting services a shot.
- Try considering arrangement of babysitting trade with other single moms. On different social nights, both of you can share the other’s care duty, with complete awareness that each of you is doing exactly the same for the other. This way you won’t feel guilty for burdening someone, and your children will make their way with other children rather quickly.
2. Be Prepared for Emergencies
It’s always wise to stay prepared for emergency conditions. What if you are sick and your baby has a fever as well?Now that you are in no state to get out of bed to cater to her needs, what can you do in such a situation?
Obviously, try to have your medicine box up-to-date. Make sure you know the babysitting services for emergencies, in your area. This may be expensive but may provide immediate assistance. Make sure you have a list of all the family member or friends that you can call in case of emergency.
Once at 4:00 in the morning,I was pretty sick to even breastfeed my baby, but I knew that one of my friends woke up early to jog every morning. I called that friend and got immediate help from her.
3. Reach out to Other Single Moms
Being stuck at home every other evening with your baby for company or being surrounded by parenting couples can be gloomy. Try joining forces with other single moms or dads, or consider joining a single -parent support group.
At times my friend’s husband had to work late, so the two of us would get together.Being there for each other allows us to make it through the lonely nights.
—Rachel Sarah, author of the book Single Moms Seeking
4. Enjoy Your Social Life
Single parenting brings isolation, but you can kill it off by building your social circle, which will offer you a sense of belonging and emotional support. Make sure your community isn’t just full of single parents; add diversity to your circle.
If dating is your thing, then start it without any hesitation. Now, it is easy to look for a perfect match, via Internet and other social media means.
I used to be very shy and found it shameful to let other know that I was a single parent, but then I realized how important it was to break that shell and socialize for my own benefit.
5. Consider Your Own Needs
Single motherhood is loaded with hardships, and you must pay heed to your basic necessities, especially during the early parenting days. These needs usually go neglected when there’s no partner to assist you. Make sure to schedule kids-free time, so you can breathe in some fresh air or go to the movie.
I ignored how at times my place looked like a mess and managed to sleep enough. I even had to concentrate on whether I was eating properly. Ialso tried to add some physical activity to my life.Instead of driving straight to the grocery store, I would take my baby in the stroller and walk my way.
6. Find Role Models
Don’t let yourself down by thinking that you can’t be a successful single parent. List down all the children raised single handed and single parents you know of, and refer to this list when you feel like you can’t do it anymore.
My list included President Obama, brought up by his grandparents and single mom, President Clinton, also brought up by his mom, and the actress Bridget Moyanah, who was brave enough to go through her pregnancy all by herself after splitting with Tom Brady. All of these successful people appeared as motivation to me, and I felt like my single motherhood can be far more productive for my child than I thought it would.
7. Keep Your Head Up
Now, births out of wedlock and divorce aren’t considered as shameful as they were in past eras. It’s because half of the marriages suffer divorce, and one third of all births occur outside of the circle of marriage. Gossiping co-workers and disapproving grandparents will be there to twist things up and make it uncomfortable for you, but you must stay prepared with your head held high. Try mingling with people who boost your confidence.
8. Put aside Your Envy at Happy Marriages
Bitterness and resentment result from envy constantly. You may come across friends who have loving partners, but keep yourself focused on things that you have and always remember that things may appear different from what they really are.
I felt envious of my friend who had a kind loving husband, but I later learned that I was only caught up in the mirage of how perfect things are with a partner by your side. All people have their own issues even if they are apparently happily married.
You can grasp a better understanding of supporting the family as a single mom by watching the following video: