Narcissistic Mothers—Signs and How to Deal With

Knowingly or unknowingly a narcissistic mother can cause damage to the child’s self-esteem and self-worth. It can be a challenge for children to stay with such mothers.

The trait of a typical narcissistic mother is self-centeredness. Narcissistic mothers loves over preoccupation in themselves and they lack the ability to provide their children with the emotional support and the self-esteem needed in their growth. In some cases, this type of personality of a mother may lead to child abuse with its everlasting impact on their child even in their adult period.

What Are the Signs of a Narcissistic Mother?

Extreme preoccupation with her and self-image are the most distinctive features of narcissistic mothers. They fail to fulfill the basic emotional needs of their children which may help them to grow into a self-adjusted adult. More signs of narcissistic mother can include:

  • Nothing is more important than themselves for mothers with this narcissistic personality disorder. They just care about themselves and their reputation.
  • They live in their own fantasy land which includes unlimited success beauty, brilliance, power and ideal love.
  • Considering themselves as special and unique people.
  • Behaves exploitative in their interpersonal relationships.
  • Immense craving for excessive admiration.
  • A sense of privilege, title and power.
  • No empathy in their mind.
  • Strong jealousy of every person and believing that every person is envious of them.
  • Arrogance, snooty behaviors and attitudes can be seen in their personality.

For every narcissistic mother being like that, they’ll need just five characteristics out of the above mentioned ones. It is difficult to judge merely based on the above characteristics. If you have doubts, you should seek some help and find proper ways to deal with a narcissistic mother.

What Leads to a Narcissistic Mother?

Although the precise cause of such narcissistic personality disorder is still unknown, some mental health professionals believe that a narcissistic mother is shaped by combination effects of social interactions with early caregivers, psychological factors including characteristics and stress management, and biological vulnerabilities. To be specific, a parenting way of coddling in one’s childhood may leads to such personality disorder in her adult life. It can also be seen in cases where parents want their child to be multi-talented for satisfaction of their own self-esteem. Moreover, neglect or trauma caused by parents or guardians during their own childhood could be a contributor of such narcissistic behaviors. This is basically seen during the early adulthood or in youth during the development of their personality.

How to Deal with a Narcissistic Mother

1. Realize that Your Mom’ Behaviors Are Abnormal

For a narcissistic mother the only thing that matters is power or authority. She does not believe in mutual agreement. For a narcissistic mother under the influence of personality disorder, it is very important that things go only in their way. If you find that it is more important for your mother to have control over you rather than having a smoothing relationship, then you may assure yourself that your mother behaves abnormal.

2. Echo Your Narcissistic Mother

You must echo and mirror your narcissistic mother’s advice. Even if you tell her not to do that, she will still give you the advice she wants. Fulfill her satisfaction that you are hearing her out and you will do as she says. Then you can choose either your way or her way.

3. Set Boundaries

Set boundaries for your mother and let her know that it is not expected for her to violate the boundaries. If she calls you frequently, avoid her calls and let it go to voicemail. Respond whenever you are free and it’s convenient.

4. Protect Your Private Life

You have to set some rules straight about giving and taking information. She doesn’t need to know every detail of your life; most importantly she doesn’t need to approve of, which assists in controlling her anxiety and avoiding unwanted advice.

5. Seek Help from Others

Some narcissistic mothers may rely on you for their whole life. Seek help from the third parties to help the aging mother. Various social workers, financial planners, attorneys, doctors and in-home caregivers can take care of your aging mother. Just don’t let her take advantage of you to become her assistance.

More information of how to deal with your narcissistic mother effectively will be shown in the following video:

What Treatments Are Available for a Narcissistic Mother?

If you have a narcissistic mother, then such questions must have run across your mind so many times. Will she ever change? Will she ever love me? Will I be able to get over it? The answer to such questions is yes, you can heal from it but it is impossible to change a narcissistic mother and she will never be able to love you. This is a very challenging task and takes effect only in cases where a narcissistic mother realizes her destructing ways and wants to change. Many mental health professionals say that it’s an impossible task to treat such patients and may even worsen the case. Only adult children can provide any psychological help required by their narcissistic mothers.

The following video will help you answer your questions and know some common issues withnarcissistic mothers: