People say that a mother’s happiness will be based on that of her child because mothers sacrifice, breathe, and live for their children’s well-being. The best thing in the world for mothers is to see the children be successful and happy. The most important thing to remember as a mother is that the love you put into your relationship with your child will make a difference whether you notice its effects immediately or in a long time.
Every mom wants to learn how to be a good mother, but there isn’t necessarily one right formula and you don’t have to be a mom like your friends or favorite TV characters. Instead, you just need to master some essentials. Here are some useful tips for how to be a good mom.
How to Be a Good Mom
1. Be Patient and Hold Your Temper
If your child makes a mess by spilling cookies and milk on your new carpet, simply breathe and count to calm down. It can be challenging to avoid yelling and every mother will yell at one point or another. Don’t beat yourself over it; simply aim to do better next time. Parenting is truly a test of patience, and if you can be patient, it will be both good for your child and you. By increasing your patience, you can be a great teacher and example for your children.
2. Be Supportive
Studies have shown that children with supportive and warm parents can cope better with adversity and do better at cognitive tasks when they are older. In fact, a study at Washington University has found that kids in preschool with actively supportive mothers (during stressful incidents) would later have a larger hippocampus, which is closely linked to memory and the ability to manage stress.
3. Be Understanding
Take the time to be a good listener and an understanding parent. As your children grow up, it will help them greatly to know that they can go to you for anything whether it is homework help, friendship advice, or even information about transitions like puberty.
4. Communicate with Them
Be sure to frequently communicate with your children. Get to know everything about them including their actions, thoughts, loves, and hates. These tips can help you communicate:
- Be available at the times your child is most likely to talk.
- Start a conversation so they know you care about them, and try to start with things that you are thinking about instead of questions.
- Schedule a time once a week to spend one-on-one time with your child.
- Get interested in your child’s interests.
- Show interest but don’t be intrusive and focus on your kid’s feelings.
- If your child is concerned about something, show you care by listening to them 100% without distractions.
- Respond after your child finishes talking.
- Share your opinion but make sure your child realizes that itis fine to disagree.
5. Cultivate Mutual Respect
By earning your child’s respect, you will help him learn to respect himself. Without respect your child won’t be able to value himself, making him more likely to mistreat others or engage in risky behaviors such as drugs, sex, and alcohol. If your child has self-respect, he will treat himself well. He will act in a manner to further his interests, and make overall good choices. Children who are taught respect from an early age tend to be generous, caring, considerate, unselfish, happy, successful, and keep healthier relationships.
6. Spend More Time with Them
When you spend time with your children, they will get many benefits:
- They will feel important and loved which helps them build self-worth and self-esteem.
- You will be a good model for behavior. Remember that children learn behavior based on the actions of those who they spend time with.
- You will also learn your child’s strengths as well as areas they can improve in. This will let you help them build on their strengths to reach full potential.
- Children and teenagers go through many stages of life and it helps to be able to talk about them. When you spend time with your child, they will be comfortable enough to talk with you.
- Quality time will also strengthen your relationship as it helps build trust.
7. Buy Them a Gift at Proper Times
Although you shouldn’t spend tons of money and give your child everything he wants, you should find a balance between that and never spending any money. Every once in a while buy a small toy or snack. Then less frequently buy a larger item that your child truly wants. Be sure to be generous during your child’s birthday.
8. Apologize When You Are Wrong
Although it’s hard, you need to be able to admit to your child when you are wrong and then apologize for your actions. It will prevent everyone from getting mad and show your child that everyone makes mistakes, but it is important to apologize when mistakes do occur. If you are wrong, take the time to calm down and examine the situation to find out what exactly you did wrong, so you can explain it to your child and apologize.
9. Cultivate Some Important Qualities
Perhaps the best gift you can give your child is to help them establish good self-esteem, since this will help him value himself and avoid bad relationship. Children with high self-esteem are also more likely to reach their fully potential and be happy. Simply spend time with your child and show them they are valued. You also want to give your child the skills needed to be self-reliant. Teach child to be independent as he or she goes through the various developmental stagesgently.
A mother shares her experiences about how to be a good mom in this video: